It is an oft repeated gag: elderly relative bursts forth
with some very un PC comment in a room full of people, which probably includes
those who belong to the group being mentioned/ discussed. More often than not, it is their very
presence that has inspired comment. For
example “Oooo look Jenny, there’s a (insert offensive term here).” Shocked at their apparent lack of
embarrassment and self censorship, you desperately try to tell them that they
shouldn’t say such things whilst glancing around to make sure that nobody
overheard. You are conflicted. On the one hand, you know that such words/
phrases are offensive and shouldn’t be said at all, let alone in public. Yet, granny is 86 and such words were not
deemed offensive in her formative years.
When she was growing up gay meant happy rather than homosexual. Words that we now consider racial slurs were
probably nothing more than descriptive terms.
No harm intended. Furthermore,
she’s got this far and lived her life using these words and isn’t liable to
change at this late stage. So does this
mean that we should merely accept it when older people use language that we
deem to be sexist, racist, homophobic etc?
Is age really a valid excuse for saying things that other people may
find offensive?
The reason I ask is because an eighty year old soap star is
currently being slated for saying that victims of sexual abuse are paying for
sins committed in past lives. Not
surprisingly, this has caused outrage, particularly amongst victims of abuse
and organisations that support them.
However, there are those who are leaping to his defence and stating that
he should not be vilified for this abhorrent point of view because of his
age. Call me a social fascist if you
like but I don’t think that age is any excuse, unless of course there are other
underlying medical things going on (such as Alzheimer’s or autism). To me, if a person fully understands what
they are saying and what is going on in the world around them then they are
responsible for their behaviour. This
rule should apply whether the person is eighteen or eighty six. To say that they are simply too old to change
is ridiculous. As humans we never stop
learning and part of the learning process involves adapting to the changing
world around us. It may well be
disconcerting to learn that certain words, customs and beliefs we were brought
up with are redundant or no longer acceptable but that’s life.
If we want a more tolerant and accepting society we need to
challenge prejudice wherever we find it, even if it feels mean or uncomfortable
to do so. I mean, you can challenge without
being offensive or condescending. You
don’t have to necessarily have to treat them to a lecture about how not to
behave in public but it is always a good idea to patiently explain that some
people may find their words offensive and/ or upsetting. Of course, if you do this you lay yourself
open to being criticised for being intolerant.
You may even get the whole “I fought a war so that we could all be free
to talk the way we like” speech. And
yes, this may be the case. I am not for
a second disputing that the older generation have made and continue to make a valuable
contribution to society. However, this
does not exempt them from having to consider the possible ramifications of what
they say. Just like the rest of us, they
should (as far as is reasonable) ensure that what they say does not offend and
upset other people. Surely this is not
too much to ask of anybody.
